8+ [REALLY] Critical Questions Your Girlfriend Should Answer

To get to know your girlfriend for real, ask her some questions that we have prepared for you with the help of psychologists.

So, you met a girl, and for the second week you have been discussing various nonsense: her grandmother’s romance with political instructor Ignat during the Kursk Bulge or the peculiarities of feeding Egyptian cats. Stop It is time to get down to business and get to know your girlfriend for real. Psychologists identify five basic personality traits (the so-called “Big Five”) – this is extraversion, openness to new experience, honesty (consciousness), altruistic (benevolence) and neuroticism. A professor at the University of New Hampshire (USA) John Mayer tells us, rubbing his left ear: “If any of these features in the girl is too much or too little, you may have problems.” Psychologists draw a portrait of the personality, asking questions to its carriers – you can do the same trick with your girlfriend. Moreover, the method works in the case if you have known a girl for a long time and this is your wife. You won’t refuse to know her even better, right?

Question number 1

“Do you want to dance on the table with your girlfriend Lenka?”

Ai, I’m sorry, we went too far. Better just ask her while you are sitting in a noisy bar: “Do you like this place?” It’s hard to hide signs of extraversion (orientation to the outside world), like a supersonic fighter in a milk bag: your girlfriend smiles broadly, naturally holds on, looks into her eyes .. Another thing, when the signs of extroversion are vague, it is here that you will check it with this question. By the way, if it turns out that she is an introvert, but wants to change, follow the advice of psychology doctor Seth Meyers: arrange dates where the girl will be forced to communicate with strangers. But the situation should not put pressure, and let the contacts be tied up by itself: take it, for example, for a wine tasting or buy tickets for a culinary master class. A girl will open faster if you help – for example, you’ll be the first to approach strangers,

Question number 2

“Maybe we’ll eat poisonous fish?”

Going to the restaurant is not only a good opportunity to see how the man at the next table dropped cheese on his shoe. You can also check how your girlfriend is open to a new experience. So you came to a Japanese restaurant, a waiter hung over you. Tell your girlfriend: “Let’s order puffer fish sashimi?” True, dear, if the cook prepares the dish incorrectly, you and I will die. ” See how she reacts. Did you see the panic in her eyes? Well, as if the gates of hell opened, and from there came an angry dentist with two horse heads? It seems that you should not persuade your girlfriend to go on a motorcycle race in Asia. You should also ask the girl what books, films and music she loves. If she read 20 books in 20 different areas (from physics to art theory), then she is more open to new experience than, for example,

Question number 3

“Do you want to fly with me to Ufa today?”

The time has come to understand what she has with good faith (consciousness). Ufa is not Ufa, but somehow find out how she makes important decisions – about moving to another job, about choosing a profession, etc. If she always reflects before taking a step, there is every chance that she will act responsibly with you. And here is what our other expert, Rita Watson (columnist of Psychology Today magazine, USA) advises: “Think of a story about how your colleague suddenly began to behave inappropriately. Ask her for advice. So you derive the principles by which it is guided when it solves difficult situations. “

Question number 4

“Do you want me to shoot your ex?”

Ask about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend or with relatives – check the “friendliness”. “People with advanced altruism tend to forgive their exes for all injustices, they are condescending in their assessments of other people and are willing to compromise,” says Meyers, whom you already met a few paragraphs earlier. If a friend pours her last words on her ex, it means that she is not inclined to forgive insult and empathy with relatives is not easy for her. Do you need such a relationship?

Question number 5

“Here you have a million dollars. Will you quit your job? ”

Does she like the job? If a friend starts a long conversation about the fact that everyday life in the office is unbearable, keep in mind that she is prone to neurasthenia. Real neurotics have low self-esteem, are emotionally unstable and often feel miserable, and with them their partners (attention! It is dangerous!). Another sign you need to pay attention to is how often she uses the word “I”. “Balanced people pay more attention to the outside world, and neurotics talk a lot about themselves,” explains psychologist James Pennbaker from the University of Texas (USA).

Question number 6

“Why would you start building your dream career?”

Is she a procrastinator, a dreamer or an energetic businesswoman? What goals the girl sets and how exactly she plans to come to them will show you how she behaves in ordinary life, including in relationships. Anne Demarais, founder of the consulting firm First Impressions, says: “For example, a girl wants to write a novel. So, she is creative, inquisitive, she is interested in the mechanisms that move people, and there is something to tell the world. And if a girl wants to open her own business, then she is independent, purposeful, willing to take risks and able to take responsibility. ”

Question number 7

“Tell me about the main points of your life?”

Psychologist Dan Macadams from Northwestern University has been doing this for many years – asking patients to tell him life stories. They share their ups and downs, describe the cases that influenced them. “We are all autobiography writers. We recycle what happened to us, and then we tell stories. Thus, we give life purpose and meaning. ” What she herself considers to be the main event (or main desire) of her life, and determines her personality. If a girl says that she liked growing up in a small town, but she always wanted to move to the capital, you can understand a lot not only about her past, but also about the future. By the way, did you ask yourself this question?

Question number 8

“What obstacles have you overcome?”

The way people explain the events that happened to them can tell a lot about a person. In all the “interesting stories” did your girlfriend always fall prey to circumstances? If she constantly justifies failures with something external, these are probably signs of narcissism. Ask her if she did things in life that she regrets. Cheerful and flexible women will talk about their mistakes. Narcissus will shy away from the answer, finding the guilty again. Well, if a girl is looking for her guilt in every problem, then she has low self-esteem. We warn you: people who are angry with themselves are often dissatisfied with their partners!

Where is the girl ready to talk to you

We conducted a survey of 558 women – where, in their opinion, is the best place and time for a serious conversation.

First place is on the walk. As the best place for mutual conversation. In second place – behind a glass of wine at home or in a cafe. In third place in the car

 

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